I want my blog to be a motivational and inspiring place where people feel welcomed. I also want my blog to be honest and I can’t do that without telling you guys that sometimes my life is hard. Everyone seems to think that most people’s lives on the internet are a cake walk. I am very happy with my life and it may seem like a cake walk in comparison to others but I want you all to know that my life is still hard sometimes.

I have disagreements with my family and sometimes pretty important ones. My family and I also aren’t very open with each other and so I can’t talk to them about what is actually going on in my life or just ask for advice. Heck, I don’t even know if that’s normal.

I am also relatively isolated meaning that I don’t really have a whole lot of friends and those that I do have are also extremely busy like me and it’s just incredibly hard to find time to hang out and just talk. One thing that I will mention is to never stop trying to talk to your friends. It may take a year before your friend comes back around or can actually talk to you, but in my experience, it has always been worth it.

I could quite literally pour my entire heart out to you guys because it feels like the only people who I could actually talk to apart from my boyfriend is you guys. If you don’t want to read the mess of thoughts that are currently plaguing my head, please check back in for another post but I just need to get all of this out of my head. Please let me know if you have ever felt like this.

For those of you choosing to proceed, here are the thoughts that are practically driving me insane:

• Why does it matter what age you get married if you and the person you wish to marry are both mature, love each other, and have dated a substantial amount of time?
• Why are we expected to have our lives figured out by the ages of 18-22? Our brains are not even finished developing at that point?
• Why is it that as soon as you get your life together, it just falls back into a million pieces all over again?
• What exactly does it mean to live a good life?
• Exactly how important is time?
• Is stress induced or self-induced?
• Why does it seem like a wedding is more about others than the people actually getting married?
• Will I truly ever know myself?
• Why do I not know how to relax? Like seriously, I always have to be doing something that I see as productive or if I do actually take a break and relax I can’t stop thinking about all of the things that I should be doing.
• If I stopped putting myself and my mind in a box, what could I accomplish?
• Why do I treat others better than I treat myself? I build others up all the time but I have trained myself to tear myself down because of the standards I set for myself…
• When I die how long will I be remembered, how will I be remembered, and how many people will I have impacted?

I could probably keep going with this all night but my break is over and I must get back to studying for a test I have tomorrow… wish me luck?!

Also, I want to give a quick apology for those of you who may have checked my blog everyday looking for a Blogtober post, my life has been crazy lately and I have had so much on my mind. I even had nearly all of the post ideas set for the entire month, but I have been bust since I woke up around 6-7 and went to bed around 12-1 in the morning.

Thank you so much for reading and if have a bunch of questions rambling around in your head, let me know what they are!

~Madison Eran~

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